Monthly Archives: July 2007
A noticeable difference.
“Have you lost weight?”
Those words helped me through another tough day at the day job.
Those four words encouraged me to stop the PMS-induced binge eating spree.
Those four little words inspired me to work out despite not feeling my best this evening.
Those four little magic words made me feel better about myself.
It wasn’t the scale talking back at me telling me that I’ve only lost five pounds since starting the metformin/strict diet/strict exercise regimen. It wasn’t the meter talking back at me telling me I’m not restricting my carb intake enough. It was a co-worker noticing that something had changed.
She has only known me a few months, only after I regained those twenty pounds. She has no idea how hard I’ve worked to maintain a healthy weight, no idea the struggles I face each day with diabetes. And she has no idea how much it meant to hear those words today.
Where would I be?
Sometimes I ask myself:
Where would I be without type 2 diabetes?
Perhaps still uninspired, still pining away for a chance to impact others with my writing.
Perhaps still oblivious to the grand scenery of the nearby Rocky Mountains, with no need for outdoor exercise.
Perhaps still full of anxiety 24/7.
Other times I ask myself:
Where would I be without an anxiety disorder?
Perhaps a little more confident in myself.
Perhaps a little more spontaneous and daring.
Perhaps a little less interesting.
Oh, how I’d love to erase away the diabetes and the anxiety from the past, present, and future.
But diabetes has given me a sense of purpose in this world, informing others and advocating for change. Plus, it helped me find my writing voice after a long absence. Though anxiety hasn’t helped diabetes control, watching what I eat and how much I exercise as a result of the diabetes diagnosis helps minimize the anxiety issues. Most importantly, I enjoy life instead of fearing life.
To be honest, diabetes and anxiety are part of what makes me ME, at age 31, three months, and eight days – in respect to both positive AND negative traits.
Rockin’ along.
Thanks goes to Nicole for the Rockin Girl Blogger award that is going ’round the blogosphere.
Now, to pay it forward as requested…
Caro amazes me with the dedicated involvement in her career alongside the challenges of type 1 diabetes and other chronic conditions. Glad to have some UK perspective around the OC with her blogging and glad she’s back on a fairly regular basis (with a new love to boot!).
I started reading Kim‘s blog about emergency room nursing back when I thought I wanted to go to nursing school. And heck, sometimes when I read it now, I still think about the idea for a few moments. She’s had a rough couple months, but she still puts out some honest (and sometimes funny) posts talking about the state of nursing and health care today.
A Chicago-area native now living in Denver who writes about sports and has a bunch of cats (and dogs)? Tracy is my hero. Really. One of these days, we’ll actually meet.
(And honorable mention goes to all the d-blogger women who have already received this from others because you all do totally rock!)
Super-ramblicious.
The tree is gone. Finally GONE. Damaged in the blizzard of March 2003, diseased after that. No more rustling against the house, tearing screens and keeping sleep at bay.
The morning light shines bright into the kitchen now without the tree there. Kind of nice to have some natural light.
***
What is it with the cherry craze this year? Everyone’s bringing them to work to share.
I can’t get enough of them. Reminding me of the pies my mom made when we had cherry trees in our backyard in the suburbs of Chicago.
***
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to write for a living. During adolescence, I contemplated careers from meteorology to fashion design to keep the money flowing while the Great American Novel surfaced in my mind. It wasn’t until my last year of college that I realized I could potentially be employed as a writer. Even then, it took seven years for me to be able to put words together to make an impression on others.
Really, it wasn’t until someone challenged me about two years ago, until someone asked me why I seemed so unhappy among all the good things I did have in life. It took me awhile, but I realized why. I hadn’t been writing – hadn’t really been trying to write well since that last year in college.
I started writing again. I chose to focus on non-fiction (mostly diabetes-related) with the essays and informative pieces I have written here. Finding just a little success spreading my message around the blogosphere and beyond has been incredible.
It has been a year since the idea for the potential Great American Novel finally surfaced in my mind. I need to cultivate that, make that happen now, too. (Because, let’s face it, I don’t want to be an accounting clerk forever.)
Learning the ropes all over again.
Being on metformin demands that I follow a low-fat, lower-carb diet. You know, the way I should already be eating. But metformin holds me in check. If I eat something with too much butter or too many simple carbs, my body reacts negatively.
As one friend pointed out, it is one thing to have the willpower to say, no I am not going to have that dessert because it is not good for me. It is another to know I cannot have that dessert because it will make me sick.
Upgrading my diabetes regimen has also meant upgrading my meter. I took advantage of LifeScan’s free upgrade offer to get myself a OneTouch Ultra 2. I wanted to be able to track before/after meal numbers more effectively.
I know, I know, there was more research about whether self-monitoring of blood sugar by type 2′s who don’t use insulin is necessary. I stand by my belief that checking my blood sugar 1-3 times a day helps with noticing negative trends and knowing how certain foods affect me. If I hadn’t been self-monitoring for the past several months, I wouldn’t have known that I was having trouble with 100-point spike post-prandials. These were occurring mostly after breakfast, which were the same type of breakfasts I’d had for the previous two years post-diagnosis with no problem. That trend may not have shown up in my A1C for another six months.
