Where would I be?
Sometimes I ask myself:
Where would I be without type 2 diabetes?
Perhaps still uninspired, still pining away for a chance to impact others with my writing.
Perhaps still oblivious to the grand scenery of the nearby Rocky Mountains, with no need for outdoor exercise.
Perhaps still full of anxiety 24/7.
Other times I ask myself:
Where would I be without an anxiety disorder?
Perhaps a little more confident in myself.
Perhaps a little more spontaneous and daring.
Perhaps a little less interesting.
Oh, how I’d love to erase away the diabetes and the anxiety from the past, present, and future.
But diabetes has given me a sense of purpose in this world, informing others and advocating for change. Plus, it helped me find my writing voice after a long absence. Though anxiety hasn’t helped diabetes control, watching what I eat and how much I exercise as a result of the diabetes diagnosis helps minimize the anxiety issues. Most importantly, I enjoy life instead of fearing life.
To be honest, diabetes and anxiety are part of what makes me ME, at age 31, three months, and eight days – in respect to both positive AND negative traits.
What if’s never help.