The storm before the calm.

Even as the calendar turns to April, there’s always one last burst of darkness before the light starts shining as far as my variation on seasonal affective disorder is concerned.  Unfortunately, this often coincides with my birthday, making me an emotional mess for such a happy day.  As such, the past few days have constituted the storm before the calm.

I suspect this year is more difficult than most, with the looming second surgery and all of its possible ramifications.   Not to mention the dread of each and every weekday, dragging myself into the day job, day in and day out.

Last night’s laughter (courtesy of humor websites and Saturday Night Live) gave way to a desire to get moving this morning.  Instead of going back to bed after breakfast like I have been for months, I chose to go for a walk in the morning sunshine.  I didn’t stop there – I made more progress on the spring cleaning of our yard, too.  An hour’s worth of exercise in sunlight instead of plopping back into a warm, safe bed has made a world of difference.

The storm clouds are clearing to give way to a view filled with optimism, hope, and calm.  I refuse to let this feeling end.

Posted on April 11, 2010, in Seasonal Affective Disorder. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I sure do hope the clearing continues for you & that you continue to feel better!! It’s amazing what a little sunshine & warmth can do for someone’s frame of mind :)

  2. Scott K. Johnson

    Happy birthday weekend to you Rachel!

    Your post (and twitter comment today – to not read/comment on blogs all day) has me feeling the need to get outside too. But first I have to comment on your blog post… Hahaha!

  3. Good for you for motivating yourself to get out there. It is so hard for me sometimes. I too just want to stay in bed of course for different reasons, but I always feel better once I am up and moving.

  4. Renee (aka Shalunya(

    Found you through chronic babes. I love your blog, your recognition of challenges and ability to conquer them is inspirational. Thanks for sharing.


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