Monthly Archives: June 2009

Isn’t It Ironic?

Went to fill my prescription for “happy pills”.

Waited 45 minutes to be told that the pharmacy technician was talking with my insurance regarding the way my psychiatrist wrote out the prescription.

Threw me into moments of anxiety.  What if I can’t get my next dose after already starting on the samples she gave me?  What if they want me to go on the generic with more side effects?  Why can’t they accept what she already prescribed, why do they need her to authorize it again tomorrow?  What if?  WHY?

Yeah, it figures.  I ended up having a panic attack at the pharmacy at our preferred grocery store while waiting for my anti-anxiety prescription to be filled. I don’t know if I can step foot in there again.

(Oh wait!  I need to go tomorrow to pick up my “happy pills” if my insurance allows them.)

Common threads.

We had three things in common.

Being female.


Residing in the Denver/Boulder metro area.

And for a couple hours, we met in the back room of a local coffeehouse in preparation for next month’s BlogHer conference in Chicago.  Some of us are attending, some aren’t, and some just found out they made it off the wait list and into the conference.

There are photos to prove I overcame a bit of social anxiety to attend, despite not knowing a soul and despite having hardly followed any of these women’s writings.

So very glad I went, despite some moments of awkwardness.  I have new blogs to read and new audiences to draw.   Now I can’t wait for the big event in July for even more inspiration!

Action Item: Anxiety.

I’m in the midst of hitting a wall that needs to come down once and for all.

Anxiety is that wall.  I don’t remember when there wasn’t some kind of anxiety in my life.  And now frequent panic attacks have been affecting my work, my health, and my life the past few weeks.

I have been avoiding alcohol entirely since early February and have been limiting caffeine the past week or so.  I’m making an effort to get enough sleep and exercise and to limit carbohydrate intake – all things that usually help anxiety issues in addition to aiding in blood sugar control.  Still, the anxiety is there and it’s time to deal with it.

I’m scared because of how psychiatric medication affected me in the past.  However, I’m willing to give anything a try to kick start some sort of relief from the anxiety which plagues me.  So, I’m seeing a new psychiatrist this week.  As far as alternatives, massage helped yesterday and I’m looking into acupuncture for the acute panic attacks.  Counseling is already happening.

Living in constant fear is no way to live.  Trust me on that one.

Cute Shoes.

There are plenty of ways I don’t act like a girl.  I love football, I hate shopping, and my fingernails continue to be bitten on a regular basis.  I will laugh out loud at dirty jokes and I’m not a big fan of wearing make-up.

There are plenty of ways I do act like a girl.  I like to wear dresses and skirts, I love a good massage, and well, I do have five cats.  (But I’m married, which according to Julia, means I don’t qualify for crazy cat lady.)

And then there’s shoes.  Cute shoes.  Since I hate shopping, I only have about a dozen pairs of shoes.   That doesn’t stop the compliments coming on my fancy sandals and my ass-kicking high-heeled boots and my darling Mary Janes.

I’ll be bringing some cute shoes to BlogHer ’09.  Oh yes, I will.


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