The harsh reality.
This is where I get brutally honest about life with type 2 diabetes.
I know that eating that donut this morning and then the bag of chocolate chip cookies this afternoon were bad choices. But I did it anyways.
I know that putting off exercise another day was bad for me, especially given the week I took off because of ankle tendonitis. But I did it anyways.
I could be told a million times how I need to watch my carbohydrate intake and how I need to exercise, but sometimes the motivation IS JUST NOT THERE. The smell of the donuts and the lure of the recliner are too powerful.
Thoughts of living with type 2 diabetes, taking care of myself day in and day out, for years to come becomes too much to handle. I wasn’t in midlife when I was diagnosed – I was just short of 29 years old. Yeah, yeah, I know all too well about how many type 1′s have lived with that condition from a young age, but what I experience IS different. It is uncharted territory for most people my age.
It is hard to think that I didn’t do this to myself. That all the bad habits caught up with me. (Though the realistic side of me knows about the missed hypothyroid diagnosis, the enormous weight gain while on a certain anti-depressant, and the genetic predisposition to type 2.)
It has forced me to become an amateur athlete, complete with sports-related injuries. It has robbed me of the freedom to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s during PMS. It has taken away the ability to skip a meal because I don’t feel well. It has made me yell and scream at the scale. It has made me feel absolutely exhausted from a night out during the work week, when only five years ago, five hours of sleep was normal for me. It has made me wonder if I’m running out of time before another disease or condition appears in my relative youth.
And sometimes I forget that controlling my feelings about type 2 is every bit as important as controlling food intake…