The rambly fifteen, #8.

Fifteen minutes straight writing…begin…right…now.

Nothing to write about, or at least, not enough time to write about what I want to write about.

Received my portion of Neppie’s ashes yesterday. Still need to write a poem about her. For now, I shall keep them in a special spot until I figure out what kind of permanent tribute I want to make to her.

New supervisor at work, and she seems awesome so far. Still struggling with other stuff going on there, though hopefully that will see some kind of resolution soon.

So, yeah, panic attacks. I’m having them again. All triggers have been identified, though it freaks me out to think how varied the causes were. Not wanting to come back to Colorado my last night visiting family, stressing about a small airport’s security the next day, losing Neppie, the work stuff (enough to make me call in sick one day last week), and then the kicker.

I read this book, the majority of it on Saturday, where one of the main characters dealt with debilitating panic attacks as a result of PTSD. I couldn’t take my mind off it, especially given the recent panic issues, and on Sunday morning, had one of my worst attacks ever. (If you deal with panic attacks, do NOT read Marian Keyes’ The Brightest Star in the Sky.)

Down to one cup of coffee each day – I wish I could do without, but right now, as I am trying desperately to sleep without popping a pill, I still need a pick-me-up in the morning. The humidifier IS helping with sleep issues (white noise? less throat/nose dryness? I don’t know).

Since I woke, it started snowing. Only light snow, but it is also quite windy. This should be a fun morning commute. Going to try to catch the earlier bus that I sometimes take.

Oh…happy birthday to my dad!