Keeping secrets.

There are some secrets that should never be kept.  Sure, the discovery of family secrets adds excitement to our lives, but questioning the truth can be heartwrenching.  Secrets between the most intimate of couples can lead to relationship turmoil.

I’ve known both in my life.

***

I should have told Greg about the rising numbers on the meter.  Maybe he would have encouraged more exercise, better eating.  But I didn’t.  I should have told him about the clouds closing in on me in the form of depression, no thanks to those rising blood sugars.  But I didn’t.

I don’t have to tell him how scared I am for the next A1C test even though I’m still reeling from the last.  If all the exercise doesn’t do the job.  If all the right eating doesn’t do the job.  If this is progressing faster than I can keep up with it.  If the past few months have already caused more damage than my body can handle come a year from now…or five years…or twenty years.

He already knows what it’s like to have highs and lows and all-arounds.

I let myself forget that for awhile.  I hope I’ve learned my lesson about keeping secrets.

***

In the midst of all the raw feelings surrounding the past month in our household touched by both types of diabetes, I wrote my latest Dueling Diabetes column.  I throw out some tough questions and deep thoughts that we talk about all the time – about the possibility of a type 1 cure, about living healthy lives with or without a cure for either type, about how life is precious and can be taken away so very quickly.