Always working on it.
Woke up every half hour or so from 3:30 AM until the alarm went off at 6:00 AM this morning.
I am THAT excited about my endocrinologist appointment today. I will receive a number, an A1C reading. This time around, I am going into this appointment without any supporting documentation as to why it may be lower or higher than last time around.
While mostly sticking to the lower carbohydrate end of the spectrum and while workouts started again a few weeks ago after a nagging bout with patellar tendonitis, the meter has barely been used since the last appointment in September. It is test strip hoarding at its best, as orders keep getting placed with the mail order pharmacy even without much actual testing being done.
I cannot explain it. I used to be strict about checking blood glucose every morning, and after at least one meal per day. Did I get used to not testing when the supply of test strips was small in between insurance cards last summer? Have I burnt out on it? Does the fact I have yet to disclose at work play a role?
So even if the A1C is lower than last time (and oh, how I hope it is), there is still work to do.
Soon, I head overseas for a long-deserved week away. A regular pattern of checking blood glucose must happen before then, as the travel and walking and delicious European carbs will take a toll on the numbers. Without constant watch, there could easily be some nasty swings in blood sugar.
Of course, there is always work to do with diabetes…
Weekly Grace, #55.
- Unloading some long-held baggage.
- Decorating a cubicle for a co-worker’s 40th birthday with an excellent reaction.
- Gathering with friends on multiple occasions this week.
- (With good beer, good wine, good food, and a new favorite restaurant.)
- Giggle fits with the six-year-old daughter of one of those good friends.
The thyroid thing.
Jan 14
What do you get a hypothyroidism diagnosis for its 8th birthday?
Another Thyroid Awareness Month, I suppose, which covers all thyroid disorders – hyperthyroidism (sometimes diagnosed as Graves’ Disease) and thyroid cancer in addition to hypothyroidism (sometimes diagnosed as Hashimoto’s Disease).
Having written a ton about my experience before, I will let the archives do the talking this year.
Guilt – type 2 diabetes vs autoimmune hypothyroidism. And some more.
Recurrence of symptoms in September 2012.
Weekly Grace, #54.
Jan 13
- Finding humor with co-workers in a less-than-ideal situation after a water main break.
- Getting through what looked to be a rough work week easily and without stress or anxiety.
- BLT with avocado.
- Freshly cleaned teeth by the hygienist.
- Regularly scheduled workouts.
Weekly Grace, #53.
Jan 6
- Going to bed at 10:30pm on New Year’s Eve with no regrets.
- An adorable photo of the twin nieces in tutus with the Chicago skyline in the background.
- Warming trend allowing for lunchtime walks.
- Favorite place for coffee near work being back open after a holiday hiatus.
- Treating myself to a movie (Silver Linings Playbook) and a wander around a bookstore.
Onward.
Four simple goals for 2013.
Get out more. Going out to lunch on a regular basis with a co-worker, along with hanging out with friends on occasion, and then getting together to watch Bears games with a meetup group all happened in 2012. Still finding a lot of alone time frustrating, so joining another meetup group or two and trying to see friends outside of work at least twice a month is in the plans.
Do more good. Continue online support efforts with the ChronicBabe forums and You Can Do This project after a period of advocacy burnout at the end of 2012. Get out more (!) and do some face-to-face volunteering.
Read more. For such an avid reader, reading 19 books and not being able to quite finish two others in 2012 was kind of ridiculous, especially after 40 in 2011. However, recognizing that life is busier, aiming for 30 this year.
Write more. More blogging? Maybe. More putting pen to paper? Absolutely.
Weekly Grace, #52.
- A quiet Christmas day with the cats.
- Thoughtful gift from sister and her family.
- A quiet few days in the office and telecommuting, getting stuff accomplished.
- Starting to prepare for London trip with a few small but key purchases.
- The Broncos are #1 seeds (a consolation prize to the Bears not getting to the playoffs, but…)
That one day.
June 2009. Social anxiety, be damned. Eleven years here, and everyone I know locally is either a co-worker or one of his friends. I need to meet other people.
It takes a lot for me to gain the courage to walk into that coffee shop and meet a group of women bloggers, that up until a few days prior I never even heard of before.
Just like the day I moved into the dorms my freshman year of college and managed to set aside all the worry for awhile to meet neighbors, I end up enjoying myself.
***
It is only now that I realize how much I needed to venture out that day. It is only now that I realize the impact of that day on how the next couple years unraveled.
The thing is, I had been unhappy for awhile before that day, but the scariest part of trying to do what would make me less unhappy was knowing that a local support system outside of work and his world was lacking. As I got to know a few of the women I met that day, I started to feel like maybe I could do it after all, even after my health failed me for a few months.
Thank you, JoAnn and Jen and Jolene and Denise. (And also to Aimee and Tracy, who were not there that day, but still have been a huge part of my starting over.)
End of year.
Sitting where I never expected to be this time last year.
Still in Colorado. Still in the same apartment. Still at the same job.
Sitting at the flimsy card table that masks as a kitchen table, waiting a few more minutes to log into work for the newly approved Friday telecommuting. Thinking about whether the Bears will make the playoffs, thinking about whether the Broncos will make it to the Super Bowl. Thinking about London in a few weeks, knowing that fulfilling a promise to myself will not underwhelm.
Dreaming of what the next year will bring, knowing how easily it could be vastly different than today’s expectations. The GRE retake may interfere with the dreams set for beginning graduate school in August. The changed tax burden may interfere with the dreams set for buying a little place to settle down for a while. The chronic health issues may interfere with all that and more.
Hoping for a good year after three years of health and personal struggles, acknowledging that things will not always be picture perfect. But confidence has returned – with co-workers and superiors encouraging strength in the workplace, friends and family encouraging strength outside of it. Being loved and supported and feeling confident allows for the hope and promise of the new year.
Bring it on, 2013.
Weekly Grace, #51.
Dec 23
1. Work excitement and good times celebrating.
2. No weather disruptions for traveling back to Wisconsin.
3. Home cooked goodness every dinner of the visit.
4. A lovely necklace from the younger nieces and nephew…three hearts, one for each of them.
5. Bears still barely alive for playoffs.
