I don’t know how I got here.

And it scares me. But not enough to stop heading on this path, but not enough to say it out loud.

There is plenty of stuff going on that could upset me, that could drain me. But I fight fight fight through it, like I always imagined other people did.

I never thought I would get here. Not at 13, or 16, or 21, or 33, or even five months ago.

I’ve had two panic attacks since the end of August. I’ve had bad days since then, too, but not ones that send me into deep dark spirals of depression, as hard as my mind sometimes seems to try to want to crawl back into them.

It doesn’t mean I’m about to toss aside the medication that got me here or that I don’t need the light box. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have work to do or that I won’t keep seeing the spectacular mental health professional. It doesn’t mean I have to be stop being mindful of triggers that would send me back months.

I got here. A mind at peace.

Posted on January 23, 2013, in Anxiety. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Reply
  2. It’s a good feeling. Glad you are there with things.

  3. Good for you! Godspeed and Peace.

  4. I’m so glad for you and only hope it continues for you.


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