Monthly Archives: March 2012

Friday cat blogging.

Sweetheart old cat with such a kitten face at times:

Choosing a little happy.

I am not an expert in happy.

I know cranky. I know sad. I know dark and twisty.

Don’t get me wrong. I also know laughter, I also know smiles, I also know hugs and kisses.

But I am just not an expert in happy. I can recall memories where I recognized being so very happy and where shit started feeling right, and then it seemed that the happy all evaporated so very quickly.

The past few days, I noticed more than ever how all that negativity affects my body, affects my interactions with others, affects my life. Reintroducing an exercise routine has lifted a mood that was extremely dark and twisty this past winter, and now I notice how down and out I come off to others both on- and off-line.

Realizing that you have spent the vast majority of almost 36 years on the opposite side of happiness could be depressing. Someone might take a look at what my life looks like at the present, what it has looked like the past couple years, and say, no wonder you have been depressed.

The clouds are lifting, and I am choosing to be optimistic, even though life is still unsettled and uncertain. Things are going to get good, things that will bring happiness. I am not afraid to believe it, I am not afraid that things will collapse like they always have.

I do not have to be an expert in happy, but I do need to laugh more, smile more, give and receive more hugs and kisses.

(And when I start feeling like crap and turn pessimistic, I will force myself to read this post over and over until I start to feel the clouds lift again.)

Wordless Wednesday.

(From Saturday’s hike in Southwest Boulder. Click to see the high resolution photo and there are specks of snow left in the upper left hand corner.)

OH, she’s fourteen.

Miss O.H.,

Back in the spring semester of 1998, I strategically placed my classes to avoid Fridays, as most graduating seniors tend to do in college. That meant Thursdays were bogged down with classes.

However, I will never forget returning from the long day of classes on the first Thursday after spring break. There, on the voice mail, was your mother letting me know you finally arrived, at home, of all places. I noted the distinct difference in her voice after giving birth to you in her place of comfort as opposed to what I heard following your brother’s birth in the hospital a few years earlier. It made me smile and ended up making you special in your own way amongst all my nephews and nieces.

A couple days later, I saw you for the first time, with that full head of hair!

Speaking of hair, do you remember giving me a “fancy hairdo” that week I spent watching you and your brother? I am so very glad I got that chance to spend some time with you, as I missed out on so much before and since. (That will change soon, I promise.)

Even if you choose something else in the future, I am delighted that you have stayed as interested in science as long as you have. Despite being quite a few years younger than your mom, not many girls my age pursued heavy science and even though I tried, I could not keep up. I cannot wait to see what your generation produces as far as that goes. It is totally okay if you end up doing something else, because I know you will still always have an open, curious mind.


Aunt Rachel

Weekly Grace, #12.

(courtesy Schmutzie‘s Grace in Small Things)

  1. Someone (else) who needed it took a break at work instead of taking out stress on others.
  2. Cooking full meals for myself, with the promise of leftovers for work day lunches.
  3. No more Tim Tebow in Denver.
  4. Startling a sleeping cat who wakes me up early every weekday morning.
  5. Hiking on a Saturday morning in March with a good friend, then being introduced to spicy and tasty Indian vegetarian food.

Friday cat blogging.

We go together…

The rambly fifteen, #16.

Fifteen minutes straight writing…begin…right…now.

What’s the point of open source software if you have to leave a donation to download it? (Ok, ok, I downloaded anyways because I am in desperate need of a Microsoft Office alternative.)

Hot dogs and red wine. I can be so classy sometimes. (There were also roasted brussels sprouts and pesto stuffed mushrooms involved, just to counteract the trashiness of the hot dogs.)

Late to work yesterday thanks to wonderful overnight occurrences: two (2) episodes of a vomiting cat and one (1) episode of a CO2 detector’s battery dying. Sleep finally happened at 3:30am after finally determining that a lack of alarm clock might actually assist in achieving sleep.

Now I feel like I will never catch up on sleep this week. Certainly did not help that a long, dragged out work training took up the morning. People told me I looked tired this afternoon. Um, thanks?

Clean bill of eye health yesterday, by the way. While diabetes-related eye complications are always in the back of the mind, I also know that I am high risk of glaucoma thanks to occasional blood pressure issues, not to mention the extreme nearsightedness and astigmatism with which I’ve been blessed (ha). Hoping that next ophthalmologist will actually dilate my eyes…

Headed back to Wisconsin in a few weeks, thanks to frequent flier miles my dad used. It took a lot for me to accept that help, but I did it and it helps everyone involved, not just me. My family needs me every bit as much as I need them.

No sushi since July. I should probably fix that. Soon.

Weekly Grace, #11.

(courtesy Schmutzie‘s Grace in Small Things)

  1. Oysters and mussels at happy hour prices.
  2. Spreadsheets that reconcile.
  3. Frequent flyer miles assigned to me.
  4. Pictures of my favorite little leprechaun (the younger nephew).
  5. Wearing green shorts on St. Patrick’s Day.

Friday cat blogging.

The other night…I touched a nerve with the Perl.

Seven lessons learned.

Seven things type 2 diabetes has taught me about life*:

  1. Just when you think you have it all figured out, a curveball might be thrown your way that changes your whole plan of action.
  2. The best diet is that which is easiest to follow for the long haul, not what causes the pounds to drop quickly in the short term. (And this probably involves moderation, not restriction.)
  3. Most PWD are owned by cats.
  4. Whether the temperature outside is 20 degrees or 80 degrees, even a brief walk in the sunshine will do a body good.
  5. Whether acute or chronic, illness can be expensive and there has to be a better way to get the care needed without going broke.
  6. Support can be found both online and off, for whatever ails you.
  7. No matter what my internal self tells me, there are plenty of people out there who think I am awesome. (Thank you.)

*On the occasion of seven years since being diagnosed on March 14, 2005…with a little influence from the other chronic conditions with which I have lived (hypothyroidism, pelvic pain, anxiety, and depression).


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