The days and the nights that currently comprise reality are much more difficult than those of adolescence, or grief over lost loved ones, or even diagnoses of chronic illness.
I cannot see the end of this tunnel most days and most nights. The tunnel that is lined with pictures of the past couple years, of surgical scars and CT scans, of a broken heart and lost dreams.
But I take whatever helps me see a glimmer of daylight, whatever helps me sleep through the night. Thoughts and ideas about spirituality that I never allowed to cross my mind before in the dark times of adolescence, of grief over lost loved ones, or even diagnoses of chronic illness.
Putting aside the past and accepting the love that radiates from family and friends; meditating to combat the ever-present anxiety; praying to someone or something that these feelings of sadness will end soon.
And most of all, keeping the faith that I will get through this darkest of times – a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little closer to the life I truly want to live.