Head above water.

Get enough sleep. Eat right. Exercise.

If all else fails, there is the anti-depressant to keep your head above water.

Easy to say, harder to do.

It’s been one of those weeks where sleep has been kept at a minimum instead of a maximum, thanks to a cat who thinks 3:15 AM is an appropriate time for me to start my day. I am feeling it everywhere – in what foods I want to eat (instead of what I should eat), in what exercise I am doing (very little due to fatigue), and of course, in how I am feeling emotionally (not well at all).

And then there was the talk with the doctor who is not my spectacular mental health professional about coming off the anti-depressant as I suspect it contributed to weight gain. I told him, I just need to get through March, through the end of the seasonal depression, then I will talk to SMHP about weaning off of it.

When I think about the weight gain, the little pill feels like a burden.

When I start feeling down and out after a week of little sleep and little self-care, the little pill feels like a lifeboat keeping my head (just barely) above water.

Easy to say I could wean off and that it is a burden, harder to do when I feel down and out and in need of a lifeboat.

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3 Responses to Head above water.

  1. Scott K. Johnson says:

    I can really identify with the lack of sleep and how it affects everything. Crazy.

  2. Headstrong with Lupus says:

    So sorry you’ve hit a bit of a wall on so many facets of your health, here! I hope you find the strength and support to find the door you were aiming for. Will be thinking of you!

  3. Hayzell says:

    I think it’s great that you recognize how the meds help you keep afloat so to speak. Although it seems it comes with a pesky side effect, you know yourself best–so kudos for letting your doctor know when you plan to try and get off them. However, don’t feel bad if you don’t…sometimes we need more than just sleep, food and exercise.


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