Light and dark.
February can be so cruel with its temptations of light. Lighter mornings, lighter evenings, as we hustle and bustle to and from work. Spring is just around the corner, the advertisements tell us, promising the joys of swimsuits and shorts.
And then, HA! Snow and cold return with a vengeance.
The light box burned out two weeks ago. I have not replaced it. I thought I could fight past all the ugly feelings that usually continue well into April. I believed this year would be different, that my attitude had changed, that depression could never take over my life again. In spite of all the health issues that linger, in spite of blood sugars all over the place, in spite of more surgery ahead, in spite of my own personal history – I would easily survive this winter.
I was wrong.
February has been cloudy and snowy and cold. All I want to do is stay inside, curled up in bed eating chocolate, surrounded by felines.
Yeah. I need to order that light box tonight.