Monthly Archives: October 2009
Loving my body.
It was brought to my attention by the lovely ladies at Green Mountain at Fox Run (via their Twitter feed) that today is the 12th annual “National Love Your Body” day, developed by the NOW foundation.
There are all sorts of women posting pictures of themselves in bras and underwear showing off how proud they are of their bodies in small Photoshopped captions. It truly is a beautiful thing to see women who love who they are for who they are.
For practical reasons, however, I will not do that here. While I do certainly have a good sense of body image, there are people from my past as well as my present (and possibly my future) that I’d rather not have see this particular image. It’s not shame, it’s the prude in me.
I love my body.
It’s been quite a journey I’ve taken to be able to love it.
The fingernails still bitten and the eyes requiring corrective lenses and the scars from childhood mishaps are trademarks of this body. Those are what are easily seen from a picture of me fully clothed. But there is also the part that remains under wraps to everyone other than me and my husband (and college dorm mates who might have seen a glimpse here or there).
For years, I often skipped meals or binged on junk food when I did eat. Who needed exercise when that kind of diet worked for me. It worked so well, you could often see my ribs. Sometimes even through my clothes.
Once I was eating better (though not entirely healthy), I trudged through untreated hypothyroidism that caused tremendous weight gain, fatigue, and whacked out periods. My best guess is all that previously disordered eating did a number on my metabolism because when the hypothyroidism was finally diagnosed, it came hand in hand with a type 2 diabetes diagnosis.
Since that time, I have discovered what I call my inner athlete along with a much healthier attitude towards food. I feel at peace with the way I look every day in the mirror. Yes, I had to lose weight to get to this place – this place called decent health – but now I’m at a place where if I put on a few extra pounds, it wouldn’t matter as long as the exercise and healthy eating were part of the equation.
From time to time, I’ll curse my large breasts and the belly fat that just won’t dissolve, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. The cleavage might prove useful someday should I need an insulin pump and I know I do plenty to reduce the risk of heart disease that goes along with belly fat.
My body. For all the stretch marks from cycles of weight gain and loss, for all the abuse it suffered at the hand of “mildly” disordered eating, for the type 2 diabetes it fights day in and day out – it still mostly works the way it should. And I love every curve and every imperfection – I love my body.
Here I go again.
For the fourth time in less than three months, I’m headed out to the airport. This one’s a quick trip, an overnight to Dallas for reasons I shall explain later this week.
For now, let’s just say that I expect good company for a good cause while I put Texas on my states visited list. And I can’t wait to turn on the local news to see what kind of hype surrounds the upcoming Red River Shootout this Saturday between the universities of Texas and Oklahoma.
Yeah, that’s just one of my travel quirks. I must watch local news to get local flavor, even for the shortest of trips. Here are others:
- I’m an aisle seat kind of girl. I accept the fact that sometimes I must fly in order to reach destinations to do cool things. I don’t accept the fact that I could look out the window – in fact, it often makes my stomach lurch. Besides, if I’m on the aisle, I can make my escape off the plane that much quicker.
- If you sit next to me on the plane, just ignore me gripping the armrest upon takeoff. I’m good the rest of the flight, I promise. Lately, I’ve been known to fall asleep until the “final descent” is announced, in fact. (Yeah, probably annoying when I’m in the aisle seat and you need to use the potty.)
- Upon entry into my hotel room, you can almost guarantee that I look for two things. One, the Bible. I am far from religious, but there is something comforting in knowing that it’s there, sitting in almost every hotel room I’ve ever slept in over my thirty-three years. Two, the phone book. Even if my trip is completely planned out for me, as this one is, I must smell and look at the phone book. I can’t explain it. (The same thing happens on phone book delivery day here at home.)
Alrighty, must get a start on this long day of travel. One more reminder before I go…
Don’t mess with me in Texas.
Show and Tell: Foxy
The building where I work is just steps away from a multi-use path in Boulder. Well, not just any such path – the Boulder Creek Trail. As such, there are hints of wildlife even near my building, particularly in the early mornings and late afternoons.
I happened upon this yesterday morning and had to capture it with my BlackBerry:
I know the image is small, so you can’t see all the detail that I did. That young fox was chasing a mouse in the bushes, sneaking up and pouncing, not unlike my cats do when they’re trying to chase each other.
(Do you want to show and tell? Take a peek at Stirrup Queens to find out how to join the crowd!)